My grandfather was an avid golfer. He simply loved the game. I remember thinking when I was a young kid just how great it would be if my grandpa invited me to play golf with him. I actually visualized it often, but I knew that it would be a pain for him. I would be sending the ball all over the place and it would be frustrating for him to watch and try to teach me the game. My grandpa would visit with us often and we would watch golf together on television. I waited for the day that he would invite me to play golf with him.
But the invitation never happened.
My grandfather passed away when I was twenty something. I wonder now what our relationship could have been if we would have played golf together. See, golf was his game. I saw how he came alive watching golf on TV. I wish I would have had the opportunity to watch him play the game that he really loved and enjoy spending time together on the golf course.
I thought about asking him to take me golfing. But I didn’t want to be a bother to him. I knew that he would rather golf with someone who knew what they were doing. The problem was, I was not in the right position to initiate the golf game. My grandpa was. Even though his position was above me he could easily reach down and pull me up to a golf game with him.
I believe that this condition relates to many relationships. I believe that the person in the power position has the more natural path to initiate the connection.
To bring others along and walk with them.
To spend time together.
To share problems and struggles.
To teach and mentor.
To share wisdom and experiences.
Do we seize this opportunity or do we let it go by? If you are in the upper position it’s as easy as reaching out your hand. If you are in the lower position it is much more difficult as you have to get past “the ask”.
I can tell you, in relationships of growth, even the smallest of things can have a significant impact. I am reminded of this every time someone repeats some rather obscure instruction, story or lesson that I gave years ago that I have long since forgotten. I promise you- they are listening and watching. You have a greater impact than you believe. If you want to experience more- reach down. Pull them up with you. They are waiting.