If you ask people this rather simple question you are likely to get several answers from each person. They may provide descriptions such as father, accountant, golfer, husband, believer, friend, etc. These titles provide some of the identities that make up their being as they see it. These descriptions are really roles in our lives. Each of these descriptions are different and unique. There are also descriptions that may be less role based. For example, they might say they are compassionate, thoughtful, a leader, a listener, a perfectionist, a servant, etc. These responses would describe the characteristics of who they think they are.
All of this to say- Who Are You?
I believe that much of the value in our roles are based on what WE DO rather than WHAT WE THINK WE ARE. We tend to tell ourselves that we value roles that we don’t really act out in our everyday lives. YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU VALUE. We have a way of filtering out our roles and identities based on the time investment in fulfilling each different role.
If you value your role as a father, you WILL spend the time that is necessary to fulfill this role.
If you value your role as an executive, you WILL spend the time that is necessary to fulfill this role.
If you value your role as as a friend, you WILL spend the time that is necessary to fulfill this role.
If you value your role as a Believer, you WILL spend the time that is necessary to fulfill this role.
Maybe it’s time to take a hard look at your time and where you allocate your efforts to fulfill a particular role in your life. By spending a large portion of your time in a particular role, you are placing personal value towards this role and thus you may be minimizing other important roles. Realize that it is likely that you are choosing certain roles that give YOU the most value. The roles that feed your ego and make you feel good. In the midst of this you may be neglecting roles that are vitally important in your life.
I believe that it is a healthy exercise to examine where you are allocating your time and efforts to make sure that they are in balance with your goals and responsibilities. We have a way of fooling ourselves believing that the role that brings us the most gratification or affirmation is our most important role! Chances are you may be neglecting some other area of your life. This examination may lead to changes that will help to reduce regrets that will occur when your roles are way out of balance.
Take a quick and honest survey of where you are. You will be happy that you did!
So what do you think? Do we tend to perform the roles that bring us the most affirmation? Do you have an example of this that you can share? Click on “Leave a Comment” and let me know what you think!